Fluid
by DragonRidersRulz
Summary: Thomas is genderfluid, but does not know it. All He knows is that he feels awfully... feminine at times. This is already causing an emotional wreck inside, which only gets worse when a certain noregian comes back Rated T for some more adultish language ( curse words) on down the road. TomTord
1. Chapter 1

Tom rolled out of bed, and rubbed his eyes. He squinted and looked around, his new apartment still a bit of a mess from moving. He gritt his teeth, remembering WHY they had to move. Freaking commie. He looked down, and picked up his tomee bear to put back on his bed.

He tidied the room a bit, and stopped. There was a box, a small box that he didn't recognize. The world seemed to stop, _holy lonely pony eating macaroni... not now,_ He thought. There was a small ball of anxiety setting in his chest. He looked towards his mirror, and bit his lips.

He didn't know what this was, but he would get this way sometimes. Most of the time he felt normal, like he was a normal man. Then, then this would happen. He just felt, he felt _wrong_ somehow. It always confused him, cause when this happened, he almost kinda felt like a girl sometimes.

Tom shook his head, nonononono, he was fine. He repeated this to himself a few times, not wanting to envoke anymore panic. He put on a more fitting shirt under his baggy hoodie, which helped a little. He took a deep breath and went to join the others in Edds room. He was still contemplating this weirdness his body felt when Matt appeared out of nowhere.

Tom was the tallest out of the three of them, he was nearly 6'6''. Most days he was happy with this, but today... he wished he was a bit shorter. Matt looked nervous, Tom noticed this. Matt looked up to Toms face.

" Heh-Heh, okay Tom, um don't freak out ok, please?" Matt nervousley started rambling. Tom blinked.

" Nothing-Nothing's wrong of course, it's just, um, stay calm..." Matt was wringing his hands and looking at Edds door. Tom raised a brow.

" Whatever Matt. What's got you so...jumpy today?" Tom shook his head at the ginger before entering Edds room.

Matt awkwardly followed. Tom stopped, Two pairs of eyes looked up at Tom. Edds familiar green ones, and the other set contained one blood red eye while the other was a silver. Edd jumped, brushing against the other male's arm. This envied a whimper.

" What. The. Actual freakin' Hell is **He** doing here..." Tom glared at the small noregian. Edd and Matt shot eachother a look. Tom continued glaring, and Tord lowered his eyes to the floor.

" Now Tom, calm down." Matt started

" He- he just needed some help and I offered." Edd continued.

" Do- Do y- you want to p-punch me? G- go ah-ahead..." Tords quiet stutters finished.

The other three turned to him and stared. Tord shrugged, then winced. His left arm went to his right eye, his right arm hanging uselessly at his side. Edd walked back over to him and wrapped a bandage around the right half of his face. It left his red eye staring at Tom.

" I- I wouldn't bl-blame you... I d- deserve it..." Tord looked back to the floor. He squinted at the table, and took a few pills that were laying there. He yawned and curled up in the fetal position on the floor. The others just blinked, Edd leading them back to Matt's room.

Tom sat on the couch, his head spinning. They explained to him how Tord was staying with some of his friends down the hall, but would probably move in with Edd. That new box in his room was Tords, it was just there for now. Tom gripped his hair in his hands and looked around the room. There were mirrors everywhere, and each reflection of him seemed to scream how wrong his body was.

He shoved his face into his hands and groaned. With how his body was betraying him, and the news about that traitorous commie, his head felt like a dumptruck had run over it. He stood up, which startled his friends, and left for his apartment. He swallowed some tylenol and shook off his hoodie. He put on his pajamas and crawled into bed.

Who cared if it was the afternoon? Tom only felt like sleeping. He snuggled Tommee bear under his chin and closed his eyes. His? or Her eyes? Tom groaned, deciding on an internet search tomorrow. His last thought, _God I could use a drink..._


	2. Chapter 2

Tom groaned and rolled over. His headache was thankfully gone, but he stared at the wall in confusion. What had woken him up? His eyes slid over to the figure digging through the box. He glared at the short silhouette.

" What. The. Flipping. Fuck are **you** doing in my room?!" Tom growled. Tord jumped as he was startled. Tom saw that the small male was looking wildly around and struggling to stay calm. This episode lasted a few more minutes, until he started controlling his shaky breaths. I c-couldn't sl-sleep..." The Norwegian started digging through the box again.

His brows knit together in concentration as he tried to find what he was looking for. He pulled out a baggy T-shirt that read _BATTLE OF THE BANDS WINNERS: HOODS._ Tom blinked. Had Tord seriously kept that thing? It was a dumb band that the four roommates had in High school.

Toms black eyes widened. There was a messy sketch of Susan on the back of it. Tord had not only actually saved a battle of the bands shirt, he had saved Toms. He vaguely remembered giving it to Tord when Tords father had taken Tords away. He had been so upset, and Tom had wanted to cheer him up.

Tom was brought back from memory lane when Tord was trying to take his hoodie off. It was actually quite funny to watch, he was oddly shaking and turning about to escape the red cloth. He was only using his left arm, which was weird because he was right handed. Tom thought about why this was, he didn't really care, he was left handed himself. His eyes widened again when Tord finally got it off.

The first thing he noticed was the scars, they covered half his torso. Huge burn marks and stitches covered most of his chest. His right arm was heavily covered in bandages, and what few spots were exposed made Tom feel sick. It looked dead to be honest. The second thing he noticed was Tords torso. He had always known Tord was quite fit, even for being so short. Tord never liked being still, he thrived on action and the adrenaline on a fight. Still, his abs were impressive. His eyes rested on every curve on the Norwegians body. When his eyes finally left the torso and made its way back to Tords face, Tord was grinning at him.

Tord put the shirt back on, followed by his red hoodie. He slightly struggled with the boxes lid putting it back on. He then left the apartment, silently closing the door behind him. Tom stared at the door a while longer. He looked at his phone, it was almost dinner.

Edd would scold him if he was late. He then noticed, his dysphoria was gone, causing him to sigh in relief. He put his jeans back on, glancing in the mirror he stopped. The shirt he had put on was really feminine. He growled before putting on his asdf shirt.

That was better. He stretched and left the one room apartment. It was technically two rooms, the bathroom being the other room. He walked into Edds, neither Edd or Matt where there. He was early.

He heard unfamiliar voices talking in the kitchen.

" Seriously Patryck, we should at least try talking to his doctor. He's so out of it, I just worry. " one of the voices said.

" I know what you mean Paul, but you know he has to take his meds." The other replied.

" I'm seriously right here you guys. .." Tords thick accent cutting the other voices off. There was an awkward pause, followed by the sounds of a spoon scraping a bowl. Tom turned the corner and saw the Norwegian sitting on the counter and two other men by him. One was shorter and slightly chubby, he looked disheveled as he fumbled with a lighter. Tom raised a brow, that male had pretty bushy eyebrows.

The other male was tall and lean. He had long hair that flipped away from his face. He was holding an orange pill bottle and frowning at it. Tord was slowly swaying back and forth, turning to look at Tom with a poker face. Tord pointed at the shorter male, " Paul." then to the other, " Patryck."

The two men looked up startled, Tom noticed Paul's eyes slightly widen. Paul stood up and rushed to the counter, Tord had started falling off. Paul held Tord and glared at Patryck. " Talk to his doctor about this." He grit his teeth. " Now." Patryck nodded quickly, and passed Tom on his way out.

Patryck froze and looked Tom over, he was only slightly shorter than Tom. " You look ... Feminine..." Then continued on his way out. A wave of dysphoria hit Tom like a truck. Tom shouldered past Paul and took the Smirnoff out of the cabinet. He took a long swig and turned to also leave.

" P-pretty Th- Thomas... Ju-just like o-old times..." Tord mumbled out in his drugged state. Paul flashed a look of confusion and layed him down on the couch. Tom sighed, and continued his way to his room. He had pulled his hoodie down over eyes. To cover his tears, or his blushing he wasn't certain.


	3. Chapter 3

Tom was dreaming he was sure of that, why else would his dad be sitting by him? He gave a fond smile to the pineapple, and was returned by a warm feeling. That was how his parents had 'talked' to him. They couldn't outright talk, but they could send out like feelings. It was weird, he would also find hand written notes from them, who had wrote them he had never found out.

He looked back out to the scene, which was a...memory? Tom furrowed his brows, confused. He figured out that the memory was at least from his teenage years.

 _Tom was running after Tord. He was wearing all black, which kinda seemed to almost go with Tords pastel colors. Tom was out of breath from trying to keep up._

 _" Geez Tord, you're like, five feet tall. How're you so fast!" Tom easily was a giant compared to his friend, but Tord had long fast strides. Tord huffed._

 _" I'm five foot_ _ **three**_ _, thank you very much." Tord walked a little faster. Tom laughed, and ruffled the norwegians hair._

 _" That's not much better you know. It suits you though, it's... cute." Tord glared Tom and sped up again._

 _Tom rolled his eyes and groaned, jogging some more to keep up. He looked over and saw Tord grinning, which was confusing Tom. That is, until a low hanging branch hit his face. He landed on his butt,dazed. Tord was laughing, but held out his hand for Tom to take._

 _A wave of dysphoria hit._ ( Tom froze, had this weirdness of his body existed since his teens?) _Tom wanted to be a girl that Tord could be proud of. Not this... weird lanky boy. Almost as fast as the feeling came it left. He shook his head, and got up himself._

 _Tord shrugged and they were walking away again. Their pinkies wrapped around eachother as they walked to the arcade, where they were meeting Edd. The scene changed rapidly to different scenes. The scenes were all the same though. Tord, just being himself, seemed to cause the dysphoria to happen more frequently, and stronger eachtime._

 _Tom just wanted to be normal, and he felt as if he was straying farther from that._

 _Tord eyes were wide. " You- You can't be serious, did I do something wrong?!"_

 _Toms face was emotionless. " You didn't honestly think this was gonna work did you?"_

 _Tord looked like he was gonna cry. " Bu- But I love you! Don't leave me! Please..._

 _Tom looked away. " Tough luck, I never liked you. You really are an idiot. Leave me alone." It hurt Tom. Nopleasedon'tleave. Idon'tmeanit_

 _Tom watched Tord almost cry, then as if a switch was flicked, Tord stopped. He looke up at Tom again, his eyes cold. He walked right past Tom, and the scene changed. Patryck surfaced._

 _" You look...pretty feminine..." Then Tord again. " P- Pretty T- Thomas..."_

Tom shook the scramble of memories away. He turned to look at his dad, nothing but a broken pineapple was there. He started walking, no destination in mind. Fog started to surround him, Tom rolled his eyes. Cliche nightmare, eh? That's where this taking him?

Tom felt something grip his ankle, he looked down to see a blue hand. It tryed to pull him into the fog. Tom tried to pull, stumbling. Another hand clasped his mouth, this one pink. Hands shot out of the fog, trying to pull him.

Tord appeared again, this time as an adult.

" Why do you hate me Thomas? You distance yourself from me, pushing me away. You try to find reasons to hate me, so you can stay away from me... Why? What did I do to you?" Tom blinked at this.

The hands disappeared, and the fog went away. Tom collapsed to his knees and looked up. A hand grabbed his hoodie and pulled him to his feet. It was Edd as a teenager, and he looked pissed. Here's the thing; when Edd was a teenage a lot of people though he was weak, he was short, on the chubby side, and preffered to stay away from physical activity. They were wrong, Edd could fucking kick everyones asses if needed.

This is what he did to Tom. With disgust he threw Tom to the ground, who was badly beaten and bleeding now.

" _What the_ _ **hell**_ _did you do that to him for? He was good to you and you fucking broke him."_ Edd grit his teeth, and pushed Tom.

Tom was falling, The darkness and the hands returned. They clawed at him, the darkness closing in. He hit something hard. He opened his eyes, crying.

Edds face came into focus, Tom flinched and covered his head.

" Oh ma gosh! Sorry Tom! I was trying to wake you up... guess I pushed to hard... Hey, are you crying?"

Tom looked around, he was in his room. On the floor next to his bed. Edd had apparently pushed him out of bed, attempting to wake him up. Toms breaths were shaky, and he was still crying. Tom stood up, andbrushed himself off.

He looked up to see tord standing in his doorway, looking...sad? Tord silently shook his head and walked out of sight. Edd and Tom walked back to Edds apartment, Tom trying to understand his crazy dream. Tom rubbed the back of his aching head and grimaced. _I should really stop drinking before I go to sleep._


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner was nice. Edd had made mac-n-cheese with hotdogs cut in it. Tord was zoning out at the table, staring out the window. It was silent, which made Tom fidget. Meals were often chaotic here, usually giving Tom a headache but now, he missed that noise.

" 50wordsformurderandI'meveryoneoneofthem." sang Tord, barely audible. Everyone else blinked.

" What...?" Matt vocalized their thoughts.

" I' .." Tord sang a different light, almost quieter this time.

" Dude, what're you saying?" Tom raised his brow. Tord seemed to brake out of his trance.

" O-oh not-nothing... i-ignore me..." He slowly died in his chair.

Edd rolled his eyes and Matt shruged his shoulders. Tom continued to stare at Tord. Panic at the disco... Tom rolled his eyes, and everyone called him the emo one. Tord caught Tom's eyes. They stared at each other, Tord slowly sinking farther down in his chair.

Tom and Tord were desinated as the dish washers, followed by the two men groaning. Tom was rinsing, Tord was drying. Tom grinned.

" I've told you time and time again, I'm not as think you drunk I am..." Tord laughed.

" And we all fell down as the sun came up..." they both looked at eachother and laughed.

" I think we've had enough." they finished together.

Tord smiled, Tom looked at him. He really looked at him, had Tord always looked this exhausted? He had dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes blinked sleepily. Tords hair kept falling in his face. Tom had to stiffle a laugh at Tords groan, it sounded a bit like a cat.

Tom blinked when Tord threw his hands up, then put his hair in a ponytail. Granted it was a tiny one, but it still suprised him.

" Since when was your hair that long?" Tord looked up, suprised by this.

" I, I started growing it out a while ago... It's easier to put it in a ponytail than to deal with it anyways." Tord answered him. Toms eyes widened, then he smirked.

" So you CAN speak without stuttering." Tord laughed.

" Well DUH! I'm not an idiot, I can talk normally." Tord shot back.

" So why do you speak that way in front of everyone else?" Tord looked back at Tom, a cold expression crossing his face.

" Because I'm just a liar, right? The crash may have changed me, but not that much. I, I think I'll always lie somewhat." Tord tried to answer honestly.

Tom stared back at him, then nodded. They resumed the dishes in silence. Tom kept looking at Tord out of the corner of his eyes, when had Tord changed? Tord had always liked a fight, but he wasn't obsessed with war like this when they were younger. Tom thought about it, which kinda made him sad.

Tords phone went off, Tord went off to answer it. Shortly after Tom finished the dishes and went to his room. Tom collapsed on his bed and looked at the ceiling. Tom held his hand above his head and looked at it. He placed it on his face and groaned.

Tord opened the door and quietly walked in. Tom watched the norwegian dig through his box, looking for whatever it was he wanted. He finally pulled out a black hoodie, and pulled it over his head. So Tord had kept his hoodie too... He was curious about what else he had in the box.

Tom bit his lip, deciding to leave it be. Tord stood up and left, closing the door behind him. Tom closed his eyes as he heard the door click close.


	5. Chapter 5

It was breakfast, all was...ok. Tom's body was set on masculine today, which Tom thanked. Everyone was just waiting for Tord to leave his friends place and come over. Not that Tom cared if Tord showed up or not. Tom looked up from his bacon, Edd always made way too much bacon.

He raised a brow at his two friends. They were staring behind him, gaping. Edd more so than Matt was, Tom looked behind him in confusion. His eyes widened. He was going to kill Tord.

Tord was wearing his clothes. Not just Toms everyday ordinary clothes, but definitely...feminine...clothes. A pair of black shorts and a dark blue tank top with a skull pattern. He was yawning, rubbing his eyes. Tom felt his face pale, if Tord had dug that out of his closet, then...

Then Tord had to know. Had to know about the weirdness of Toms body. Edd asked where on Earth Tord got those clothes, Tom could feel his soul leave his body. Tord merely grinned and placed his index finger over his smile in a shush fashion. Tord walked to his seat, winking at Tom on the way.

Yep, Tom was definitely killing him. Tom had to remember to breathe, he realized he had been holding it since Tord walked in. He pushed his chair back and left for his apartment, mumbling something about not being hungry. He collapsed face first onto his bed, groaning. Tord was going to make fun of him, he just knew it.

He felt someone sit down on the bed. He looked up and narrowed his eyes at the small Norwegian. He held his breath again, waiting for Tord to speak. Tord smiled softly at him, then his gaze drifted to the window. Tord hummed, and the two sat there like that for a while

" I'm not going to make fun of you by the way. " Tord said quietly. He had to have seen Toms confusion because he continued.

" I honestly don't see anything wrong with this, do you? You seem embarrassed about all of that." Tord motioned towards the hiding spot in the closet. Toms eyes lowered.

" Sorry about stealing your clothes by the way, mine are in the wash, and well... I look fabulous in this." He jokingly wiggled his brows, envoking a laugh out of the Brit.

The two men spent hours talking. They talked about what was with Tom, Tord described him as Gender Fluid. That was a term Tom hadn't heard before. Apparently Tord knew a bit about a lot of things because a lot of people in the red army was lgbt. Tords voice had quieted down while talking about the Red army, and he looked... sad.

There was an awkward silence between the two. Tom looked at Tord, and bit his lip. He sighed and tugged on Tords ponytail. Tords eyes widened and Tom shrugged. He started braiding Tords hair, and gently sang random songs he knew.

By evening, the front door was locked. Tom was dressed fully feminine, and the two were dancing to Panic! At the disco. Tom passed his mirror, and grinned. It felt good to have finally give in to his female side, to not hide it. Tom would have given anything to have time stop so he...

Tom laughed, so she could stay in that moment. Tom grinned at Tord. She, she, she, she. What an odd concept, she was still feeling too good to care. The only thing that could ruin this moment was... She suddenly felt down.

Was if her other friends found out, she'd die if they were weirded out by it. She felt that they probably wouldn't care, but doubt weighed heavily over her. She sighed and looked at the ceiling. Tord cast a sympathetic look towards her, softly dancing to the beat of House of memories. Tom shrugged, managing a small smile before dancing again.

Tom stopped and stated at Tord. She evaluated his height and snickered. He was pretty short. She snuck up to him and embraced him in a hug. Tord froze before returning the hug, then realized what was going on.

Tord glared at Tom. She had bent down so her chin rested on his head, she had to bend a ways too. Tom was a giant, Tord was very short.

" I hate you right now." Tord jokingly shot at Tom. Tom only replied with a laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

Tom groggily woke up. She looked around, confused. Memories of last night came to her, her, right? Yes, Tom was still feeling feminine. She looked over and stifled a laugh.

Tord was face down on the floor and looked kinda like an inch worm. He was muttering something Tom couldn't hear. A knock on the door alerted Toms attention away from the Norwegian. Matt said they were heading to go out to a movie, so get ready. " Aw hell, ya ill be out soon."

Tom poked Tords face. He kept muttering something about pretty pineapples. She awkwardly ignored that. Tom looked in the mirror, her clothes and hair where all messed up. She really didn't want to have to put up her male front right now.

Tord appeared behind her, causing her to jump. Tord directed her on what to wear to help her dysphoria a bit. A pair of black skinny jeans and an old band shirt. It was old, so it fit Tom quite snugly, Tord was right though. It did help her a bit better.

Tord styled Toms hair down, and it looked somewhat ok. Tom laughed when he saw herself. To an outsider she would still pass as a guy, but she still looked feminine enough to please herself. She hugged Tord quickly and was out the door. She didn't see Tord blush profoundly and squeal slightly, didn't see him hug himself and follow, especially didn't see the complete look of Love on his face.

 _authors note: hey I know this is short but it's really late and I might not get a chance to update in a while so I thought you should at least get this. Please enjoy and again sorry it's extremely short._


	7. Chapter 7

Matt had complimented Tom's attire, Edd still was kinda quiet. Edd did remark Tords hair though. It was still in a messy braid from the night before. Edd jokingly teased that he should get a haircut. Tord simply stuck his tongue out.

Tom rolled her eyes at this. Familiar voices were coming closer.

" I really think it's this way Eddie."

" Jon I swear to God I will call an exorcist if you keep calling me that."

" _Eduardo_..." A Mexican sounding guitar rift echoed in the background. Tom raised a brow at Edd. Eduardo and his group was now facing them. Eduardo glared at Edd. Tom slightly jumped. Tord was hiding behind him, most likely to escape Eduardo's glare.

Didn't quite work out for him. Eduardo noticed and blew up at Tord. Telling him off for his wrong doings. " You're a pretty girl." Jon directed to Tom. The scene quited out. Tom felt a weight on her chest. " I'm not a girl Jon." Eduardo agreed, calling Jon an idiot.

Tom was having trouble breathing correctly. A slight pressure on her back. Tord slowly rubbing circles. Humming. Tom took a deep breath, calming down.

Eduardo took his leave. Awkward silence left in their wake. Edd cocked his eyebrow. " Any idea what he was talking about?" Tom shook her head and smiled" No idea Edd."

Tord sighed. He watched the green clad man and the ghost walk away. Guilt flashed in his eyes. His friends shared a look of concern. " Hey shortie, you coming?" Tord glared at Tom.

" Ya I'm coming, Thomas.' The short Norwegian shot to the tall Brit. Tom glared. " Don't call me that." They entered the room their movie was playing in. " Whatever Thomas."


	8. Chapter 8

Tord watched Tom out of the corner of his eye in the dark. Tom had pulled her legs up to her chest and was watching the movie with interest. A brief look of confusion passed over Toms face. Tom spiked his hair back up and slouched into a sitting position. Tom sighed, he caught Tord staring at him.

Tom blinked, trying to decipher the weird look in Tords eyes. He shrugged and turned his attention back to the movie, some action flick Edd was dead set on seeing. Time passed, and Tom was liking it. There was a weird noise that had been going for the last few minutes. Lights flashed over at the men and Tom looked up in suprise along with Edd and Matt.

One of the movie theatre attendents was standing there with a flashlight, concernedly looking at Tord. The source of the weird noise was Tord, who had been screaming. He was clawing at the side of his face and freaking out. His eyes were glued to the screen, the reflection of fire glistning in his eyes. The sound of explosions drowning him out.

Tom jumped up, gripping Tords wrist and pulled him out of the theatre, Edd and Matt right behind them. Tord collapsed into a heap outside and tried to take deep breaths. Tom looked up at Edd with a worried look.

" What's wrong?!" Edd bit his lip and stared at Tord

" I-I don't know! He seemed fine earlier!" Tom responded. Matt pulled Tords phone out of his pocket and got into it. He held it up to his ear and walked around in circles.

" Hey, um... You guys are Tords friends right? Ya...Um... he's freaking out, we don't know why...Ya we went to see a movie...It was some action one?...oh...oh gosh...ok, see you soon..." Matt hung up and returned the phone.

Edd and Tom shot him a confused look.

" His friends are on their way to come get him. Apparently the explosions and fire, you know, normal action stuff triggered some stuff in his head or something." Matt awkwardly stood there.

" How did you know who to call?" Edd questioned

" He only had two contacts in his phone, it wasn't very hard to figure it out." Matt reasoned.

They waited on the curb, silent except for Tords labored breaths and sobbing noises. A car pulled up and Pat jumped out. He thanked them for watching Tord, who he helped into the car. He shot a sad smile at Tom, then climbed into the drivers seat. Tom kicked a rock, then turned around and headed back to the apartments, Edd and Matt shared a look before catching up to him. They headed back in silence.

It was evening, and Tom was laying on his bed, Susan in hand. He stared at his ceiling, before sighing and setting Susan down to clean his room. He glanced at Tords single lone box. He was tempted to look inside, what memories did he keep in that sad little box? He bit his lip, and decided to wait to do that.

He collapsed on his bed, and held Susan again. He lightly began to play, ( can't help falling in love by twenty one pilots). Edd looked up, the music passing through the thin walls. Tom wasn't singing, but the tune sounded familiar. He cast a look at Matt, who shrugged.

Tom didn't even realize **what** he was playing until he was half way through the song. He flushed embarresdly but finished the song, it seemed wrong to just end it half way. He blepped and but Susan back in her case after he was done. He grumbled and pulled his shoes on. He headed towards the apartment Edd had said Tords friends had moved into.

He knocked on the door and waited. A dishovled man opened the door and groggily rubbed at his eyes.

" um, it's Pau right?" Tom asked. The other man nodded, then recoginition flashed in his eyes.

" Oh, if you're looking for Tord, he's not here right now." Tom couldnt mask the disapointment that flashed in his eyes

" But i mean, he's doing fine now if you're wondering." Pau back peddled, slightly winced at the look Tom had.

Tom nodded and thanked him, before turning and headed back to his room. He was confused, why did he even care about Tord anyways? He logically should hate Tord, after everything the commie had put them through...but... but he did care and it startled Tom. He plopped onto the floor of his room and glanced at the box again... Maybe just a peek... What could it hurt? Right?


	9. Fluid blep 1

Edd rolled his eyes. Matt raised a brow. Tord buried his face into the carpet of Edd's floor. Tom choked on a laugh. Paul and Pat looked at each other.

" How in the world do you lose an _arm_..." Edd questioned. Tom smirked. Tord groaned and sloppily threw a pillow at Tom. It didn't land anywhere near him. Tord shot Pat sad puppy dog eyes.

Tord eventually got up and left the apartment. The rest of them shrugged and watched a movie together. Matt yawned and stretched out. He pursed his lips and grinned. Edd raised a brow as the ginger ran off to his room and back.

He pulled out some bottles of nail polish and set to work on painting his nails. When he was done he cast a sideways glance towards Tom. " Matt... No..." Toms eyes widened. Next thing he knew Edd was holding him down, and Matt was painting his nails. Tom glared at the two of them and then gazed at his black nails.

( this isn't really part of the storyline. Just some random things to balance out angst.

In the storyline, Tord still has his original arm, this would be after he got the robot prosthetic. He loses it all the time)


	10. Chapter 10

Tord was sitting on a counter. He kicked his legs a bit and glared at the floor. He wasn't anywhere near to touching it. Tord Larrson, the great feared red leader, was a measly 5' 3". Actually... 5' 2", he always lied about it, about 5' 4" with his heeled boots on. He was in the process of cursing his ancestors for taking all the tall genes and leaving him with none.

He then had a thought about how perfectly Tom could curl up around him. _Fucking stars, not now gay thoughts._ He thought, an awkward cough brought him out of his thoughts. Pat gave him a curious look.

" Are you all right sir?"

" Ya...I'm doing better now... what happened?" Tord bit his lip, trying to remember.

" You were watching a movie, your friend Matt said you just started freaking out." Tord groaned and nodded, that sounded about right.

Pat watched him with a slight smirk.

" What's so funny?" Tord lightly glared at his comrade

" What were you thinking of just now? You're blushing." Pat gave Tord a knowing look

" N-Nothing! None of your business! I wasn't thinking of anybody!" Tord blushed and jumped off the counter, lightly whacking Pat on the arm as he passed him.

Pat had to choke back a laugh. Tord was lying, Pat easily knew this. Tord only just talked about a certain 'Thomas' every other dream. Tord angrily walked down the hallways in a huff. Pat had to walk pretty fast to keep up. Even as short as he was, Tord was exceptionally fast and could leave everybody in the dust.

One learns to move fast to keep up, Tord hated having to wait for others to catch up. He and Pau had to downright jog sometimes to keep up. No sounds except the click of Tords heeled boots echoing down the hall.

" How long was I out?"" Pat slightly jumped at the sudden question

" About an hour, sir." Pat answered, Tord slightly groaning.

" That's progress though! You used to go unresponsive for hours. Almost a day." Pat quietly said, in case others were listening.

Many of the newer recruits, or just others under Tords command either didn't know aout Tord's...episodes, or didn't realize how bad they could be. Tord honestly wanted to keep it that way, he didn't like to be thought of as weak. A mistake the new recruits kept making based on his size. Just the week before some 6' 2" guy teasingly joked about Tord's height. Pat winced thinking about it, Tord had put the poor lad in the medic wing, he was scheduled to be there til next month.

" Can i go?" Tord softly asked. Pat looked back to him. After the...incedent a few months ago, Tord had been growing distant from the army. He wanted to spend more and more time away from it.

" Of course sir." Pat gently responded. They headed down an elevator, Tord winced and gripped onto Pats arm. The elevators gears made a loud whirring noise, startling Tord each time. Pat knew not to call attention to this bizarre behavior, it'd only embarrass the Norwegian. They walked out to Pats car, Tord sliding into the passenger seat. Tord remained silent and stared out the window the entire time, Pat knew better, but he swore he saw a ghost of a tear slide down Tords face.

Matt practically tackled Tord when they showed up at Edds.

" Oh my gosh! Are you ok! We were so worried! Even Tom, which is kinda weird. But are you ok! what happened!" Matt speedily talked, leaving Tord kinda speechless.

" T-Tom was worried?" His voice softly interuptted Matt. A light thump on the back of his head made him tense up.

" Ya, well i mean... You were screaming. Of course i'd worry about that. b- but don't take it to seriously. You're still a commie bastard." Tom shoved his hand back in his pocket and awkwardly looked away. Tord lightly rubbed the back of his head and nodded.

Tord blinked and walked past the small group of people, collapsing on the floor. Edd,Tom, and Matt looked at him with slight concern. Pat had a slight smile, then motioned for the others to look closer. Tord had his face burried in Ringo's fur.

" Your cat is to pure for this world. We don't deserve him Edd." Tord muttered. Edd was confused, Tom then explained Tord could actually speak normally.

" Well sure, sometimes." Pat looked confusedly at Tom.

" Oh... he told he could speak fine, but pretends not to. Didn't he?" Tom nodded.

" Well he can speak fine, but he'll start stuttering randomly. He's getting better at it tho-" He was interupted by Tord throwing a shoe at his face. Pat rolled his eyes.

" That's my cue, anyways i should be going. Pau's probably worried about me." with that he waved and left the apartment.

The other three men stood there and awkwardly watched the shorter man fawn over Edd's cat.

" I don't have to e-explain myself to you." Tord looked up at his old friends, his eyes slightly cold. He stood up and brushed cat hair off of him, heading to the kitchen.

" Oh, and Thomas? Stay out of my stuff."


	11. not an update, sorry

( author note: i got a gmail that someone left a review. They found the be more chill reference, i can't find the review so im mentioning it here. Random person that found the reference, you earn a gold star!)

( or 50 points to griffiyndor)

(whichever)


	12. Chapter 12

Tom fiddled with the charm. It was a tiny chewable robot on a simple leather chord. He vaguley remembered Matt getting it for Tord, so he'd quit chewing on his hoodie strings. It grossed Matt out when people chewed on the strings. The aglett on Tords right hoodie string was absolutely destroyed, had been for as long as Tom could remember.

He set the necklace aside, and dug through the box. Concert tickets that Tord had snagged for him and Tom, some random shirt for an anime with a butler dressed in dark clothes, drawing of his friends. Tom slightly blushed, he was drawn a little more than the others, and Tord was phenomenal at drawing people. He was better than Edd, not that he'd ever tell Edd that. He bit his lip and set the drawing to the side.

A notebook filled with notes, all written with what looked like gibberish. It was most likely in norwegian Tom reasoned, polaroids of all of them hanging out, some of each of them separately, some of Pau and Pat. Tom blinked confusdedly and checked the time on those ones. They were taken just before Tord had moved out years before. The battle of the bands shirt was neatly folded at the bottom.

Blue prints for random things, those weird portable couches, one for an... arm? Tom set those down with some slight discomfort. Tom froze, a friendship braclet he had made Tord when they were like, seven, how in the world did he still even have that? Letters Edd had wrote to him after he moved out. A fork and spoon, some stray bullets, a pocket knife, gum wrappers with notes on them.

He put everything back where it had been and queitly went back to Edds.

...

" Oh, and Thomas? Stay out of my stuff..."

Tom looked up with a start. Tord couldn't have known, there was no fucking way he could have known. Ringo rubbed against his leg, demanding pets. Tom lightly scratched her between the ears, staring at the floor in confusion.

" Tom, you're not snooping are you?" Edd disappointedly looked at him.

" No"

" Are you sure?"

" ...yes?" Tom shrugged, Edd rolled his eyes

Matt came in eating a banana and sat himself on the couch, flipping on _The children_ on the tv. He eyed Tom with a curious look.

" What're you staring at?" Tom lightly glared at him

" hmm."

" Matt?"

" hmmm"

" Matt, what?"

" Can i paint your nails?" Tom sat up in slight shock.

" What?"

" I'd do them black.. ooh! I could do checker patterns!" Matts eyes lit up with excitement.

...

Edd walked in and blinked.

Matt had wrestled Tom to the ground and was painting his nails. Edd groaned, rubbing his temple slightly.

" matt we talked about this..."

" I know Edd, but look! They're so pretty!" Tom grumbled and glared at the ginger... He did have to admit they looked cool. Perfect black and white checkers.

" Matt, you can't force people to let you paint their nails." Edd sighed, slumping down onto the couch and sipping his cola.

Tom stuck his tounge out at Matt, who only dryly smiled in response. The three men sat in silence, the only noise being the tv, Edd slurping his cola, and Tom occasionally humming. When Matt was done, satisified that Tom's nails were dry enough, he moved to the couch. Tord eventually wandered back in, wearing a black tshirt and a pair of red pajama pants. He laid down on the floor, his head resting on Toms shoulder, and he procceded to fall asleep.

Tom froze, he could feel his face heat up. Edd was grinning at him, Matt meerly slid a glance out of the corner of his eyes towards them then back to the tv. Tom caught himself staring at Tord's arm, which was only partly covered in bandages know. Edd saw too. His arm was covered in burn marks, worse so than his face. The arm looked dead, heavy stitching everywhere. Tom sucked in his breath and looked away.

Tom released a weird squeal noise, causing Edd and Matt to look over in confusion. Tord had wrapped his arms around Tom and had burried his face into Tom. Edd lightly smiled, before standing to his feet. He carefully woke Tord up, and helped him to the guest bed. He returned to Matt asleep as well, and Tom hugging his knees to his chest.

" You good?" He softly questioned.

" ... ya...i'm fine." Tom quietly answered back.

He stood up, told Edd goodnight and headed to his room. Edd lightly smiled as he watched Tom leave. There was a slight **thud** noise as Matt rolled off the couch. He meerly kept on sleeping. Edd looked over at him and grinned. He softly curled up around Matt and closed his eyes.

...

Tord queitly opened his eyes, it was dark. He stared at the ceiling, gently raising his bad arm up so he could veiw his hand. He tried to open it all the way, but he could only manage part way. Same with him trying to close it into a fist, he could only get about 3/4 of the way there. He sighed and bit his lip. He lightly traced a finger over the marks on his face with a defeated sigh.

 _It'd get better,_

 _soon._

 _Right?_

 _(_ Authors note: the beginning of this chapter takes place at the same time as the beginning of chapter 10. the ... between parts are time skips)


	13. Chapter 13

" Tom...what're you wearing?" Matt stood in the kitchen door way with a raised brow.

Tom froze. She was wearing a black skater skirt. An oversized sweater that slipped off her shoulders. Toms hair had been tied up in a ponytail. her eyes flicked over to Matt with panic.

Tord and Edd had gone out to catch up. Leaving Tom and Matt. Matt had been taking a shower, and since he took ages Tom had assumed it was safe to wear her clothes.

" Tom?"

Tom was shaking a little. " I..uh... I can explain.. its not what...uh" she stumbled over her words.

" Woah Tom. Calm down." Matt held his hands up in defense. He smiled. " It doesn't look bad on you."

Tom didn't stick around to hear what Matt would say next. She had bolted to her apartment and locked the door. She tore off the clothes and pulled on her blue hoodie and normal pants. Tom couldn't shake off how wrong this felt, but ignored it. She had curled up in the corner.

Her knees were pulled to her chest. Knocking could be heard.

" Go away!" she called out

" Tom.. did I say something wrong?" matts worried voice.

" go away!"

" Tom please... should... should I get Edd?"

Tom bolted to the door and opened it. " No! no... don't tell Edd...please."

Matt wasn't sure what to make of this. Tom looked like he was on the verge of tears. The ginger was worried about his friend. " Tom. What's going on? you can tell me anything." He tilted his head.

Tom looked hesitant. " No. just... just forget it alright. And don't tell Edd!" the door was closed in Matts face.

He stood there blinking at the door for a while. Eventually Matt sighed and went back to Edds apartment. He watched cartoons and drank some tea. _Why on Earth was Tom wearing a skirt? Girl clothes?_ he thought to himself. _He looked comfortable like that too...hmm..._

 _..._

A few hours later Tord and Edd returned home. Tord helped Edd lug in some cola.

" are you sure you can carry it?"

" Edd I may be half your size but I got it." Tord chuckled.

" well if you're sure you're alright..." Edd started. Tord saw his chance and took it.

" actually I'm all left." he grinned as he motioned to the right side of his body, how broken it was

Edd choked on cola and wheezed. Even Matt had looked over in surprise. Tord was grinning, pleased with himself.

" Tord oh my god" Edd's eyes widened.

Tord merely whistled in response and carried the bags to the fridge. When all the cola was put away he wandered to Toms apartment.

" Matt go away." Tom growled as the door was knocked.

" It's me...Tord."

Tom quickly opened the door and pulled Tord in. She had been crying and buried her face into Tord's shoulder as she sobbed. Tord awkwardly stood on his tiptoes for her. They took seats on the floor, sitting cross-legged. Back to back.

Tord listened in silence as Tom told him what happened. How worried she was how Edd would react. All Tord did was lean his head back against Toms reassuringly.

" It'll be okay Tom. It'll be ok." he spoke softly

...

Tom had fallen asleep and was curled into a ball. Tord looked over and softly smiled. His eyes flicked over to his box of things and crawled over to it. He dug through it and lifted out a blue-print for a prosthetic arm. His silver eyes flicked over it curiously. " this...this could work" he mumbled to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

Tom woke up with a hum. He rolled over and went to hug Tord...except...Tord wasn't there. "?" He sat up confusedly and looked around. The Norwegian was gone. "..." He sighed and ignored that weird feeling he got in his chest. " lame" he muttered.

He got up and stretched. Once he was ready for the day he left his apartment. Going to Edd's for breakfast. " morning"

" good morning" edd replied as he made. surprise. Bacon.

" I see you still consist on a healthy balanced diet" he teased.

This resulted in Edd throwing a piece of bacon at Tom's face. The eyeless brit snorted and ate it. Then went and sat down on the counter. " hey um...for no reason do you know where Tord would be?"

" he left earlier. Said he had some errands to do"

Tom tried to mask his disappointment. So he simply got himself some breakfast. Yawning a bit as he did so. Then went and sat on the counter as he watched the tv. Nothing good was really on, just re runs and dumb movies.

…

Tord grumbled as he dug around the spare parts at the base. Smiling as he found what he needed. He would toss the part to Pau to catch. The man may be a terrible pilot but at least he could catch. He sighed when his bad arm would brush against something, sending pain shooting through him.

" are you sure about this sir?"

" I told you you can just call me Tord. and yes I'm sure."

"...alright. and shouldn't you tell your friends? isn't lying how you got in this mess?"

Tord froze a moment to ponder this. Thoughts flashing to them. To Tom. Then he shook his head. " No, it'll be fine. This doesn't concern them."

"..ok si-Tord"

…

Jon was floating around the apartment building. It drove Eduardo crazy, but hey, it was entertainment. He also found snooping was kind of entertaining. Not like anyone knew, after all, he was a ghost and could become completely transparent and practically invisible. He snooped around the apartments, before settling on Matt's. A lot of mirrors.

He shrugged and seeing that Matt wasn't home, became 'solid' again. He smiled and danced around in front of the mirrors. Watching himself from every angle. He sang softly. ( who we are-imagine dragons) Jon moved happily, turning and spinning around. Happily laughing.

He kicked his legs up and kept dancing. Singing in a soft low voice that was almost eerie and dark, but in a beautiful way. He heard the door knob turn and quickly went completely transparent and 'invisible' again. Matt had entered the room. He sneaked out. Yet something troubled him as he left the room.

When he was passing Matt, the ginger had suddenly flicked his gaze sideways and had looked at him before looking forward. It was quick too, only looking at Jon for a split second. His iris had looked red, but only for that split second he side glanced at Jon. Then it went back to his normal eye color. It troubled Jon, Matt shouldn't be able to see Jon when he was transparent like that. But he had a feeling the ginger had.

"..." The ghost went back to Eduardo's place silently. An uneasy feeling resting in his gut.

" where were you?" Eduardo asked once Jon popped up visible.

" no where" he hummed.

Eduardo noticed how his friend looked shaken. Yet simply sighed and ignored it. Not like there was anything he could do anyways. With a shrug he went to the kitchen and got himself some diet cola.


	15. Chapter 15

It was best, Tord noted, to stare at a single point in the room. To not let his eyes wander. To not let his mind focus on the pain. Or the phantom feeling of a limb that was no longer there. He simply stared at the one spot, breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth. He had been offered pain meds, yet he had refused.

He was already out of it enough with the meds he already had, he didn't want to add more to it. The Norwegian finally allowed his gaze to travel around after a wave of nausea passed. He sighed and looked around, nodding softly at a mechanic in the corner working on a prosthetic. He blinked numbly, not quite registering anything.

He vaguely felt Pat trying to shake him to a better sense of consciousness, so he'd react to the stimuli around him. He felt a groan leave him as he leaned his head against the soldier's arm.

" I wanna go home," he mumbled.

" I'm not sure that's wise sir," the tall brunette replied with a worried glance at Pau.

" please?" Tord spoke it softly.

Pat sighed. Nodding softly, then put Tord's coat on his boss. He managed to get the man to stand up and lean on him. Tord stumbled as they left the building.

" ugh...I thought he refused the meds- He's clearly out of it-"

" well he did, but he's still under the influence from the meds they gave him during the surgery," Pau responded.

The taller brunette groaned. Then practically carried Tord to the car. He got him buckled into the backseat. Then slid into the drivers seat, Pau into the passengers. Pat started the car, and began driving. The gentle hum of the engine a comforting sound for the men inside the car.

Soon a soft sound blocked out the gentle hum. The two men in the front seat looked at each other confusedly. Then looked back at Tord. The Norwegian man was staring out the window. Eyes half lidded as he gazed out, his arm wrapped around himself. He was singing gently.

" Byssan lull mitt lille barn! Mor hun sitter og nøster garn. Far han g år på Langebro, kjøper barnet nye sko, nye sko og spenner så sover barnet lenger."

The two men sighed and simply looked forward towards the road. They soon arrived at the apartment complex, and helped Tord up the stairs. They knocked on Edd's door and went inside.

Edd was confused when the two came in with a drugged Tord. He sighed and pointed to the room Tord was staying in.

 _" Breaking News- mysterious deaths have been found in the alleys, strange wounds_ on-"

The television got turned off by Tom. Who was grumbling, he didn't much care for the news. He looked up at the soldiers. Then tilted his head in an animal like way.

" why're you here? Is Tord alright?"

Patfumbled for words, " hmm? oh- yeah. He's just uh...tired! Right Pau?"

" uh..yeah," the shorted man nodded.

Tom stared them down. Clearly not believing the story. He was about to question them farther when Matt came in. The ginger looked exhausted. He flopped onto the couch and grumbled softly.

" you ok bud?" Edd asked.

" mmmmmmhmhmhmmhmh," was his reply.

" alright..."

Tom went back to his room, tired and already loosing interest in the scene at Edd's. He flopped onto bed and stretched. Glancing at his table and blinking. There was a gift. Wrapped in a navy blue paper and tied with a black ribbon and bow.

" ? "

( ?t=es&p=5247 is where I got the song.)-author's note


End file.
